So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
