He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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