You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Randomize
