so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
