i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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