theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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