It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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