Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
