Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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