just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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