I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she looked like the before picture.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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