Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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