is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
