If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
