We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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