Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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