Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
