I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
