My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
