He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish I could teleport
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
