You're completely useless in the revolution.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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