i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
