my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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