I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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