how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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