I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
