Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
