You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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