Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
