i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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