OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
As shirtless as possible
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
