Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
