Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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