So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
