Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
