I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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