u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
