WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
last night I used snow as a chaser
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