Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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