I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
