Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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