I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
