check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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