C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
