I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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