We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
