Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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