Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Your topless pictures make me question reality
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
