ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
