She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
